The Meaning of Indomitable
by Emerald46
Summary: After returning from a search for the forbidden boxes still blind, the royal council has voted to remove Yuuri from the throne for the good of the country. In the process of settling down into family life with his godfather, Adalbert returns from Seisoku with good intentions. However not all of the citizens of Shin Makoku wish peace upon the former monarch.
1. Chapter 1

Slight AU. This story follows the novels events except for the fact that no forbidden box was found in Seisoku after searching for it. Most other events remain the same. You don't have to have read the novels to understand this story, there will just be new material for those who haven't.

I don't own Kyo Kara Maoh or any related media.

Hope you all enjoy the story!

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It had been about two months since Adalbert Von Grantz had seen the former Maoh and his companions. Staying in Seisoku leading the horse-riding tribe of the desert had been his original plan, perhaps even being a permanent source of intelligence to outside nations in the area, but after hearing some concerning rumors he opted to take a trip out of the country on one of the few departing ships in the country. He's had to pay a hefty sum of money for his passage. His new status as Messiah to the horse-riding tribesmen of the Seisoku desert was growing stale. He could never understand the language of the people who worshiped him, so conversation grew dull quickly. Maxine was always silent and brooding as of late over being stuck so far from home, and that just got on his nerves more. He'd left Maxine in charge for a few weeks and had gone out on a journey towards Blood Pledge Castle. His long-haired assistant had begged him on his hands and knees to come along at first, but one warning look from his large companion looming over him had silenced him quickly. Besides, he didn't trust Maxine alone with Yuuri anyway. After what had happened when Small Cimarron had tried to open a forbidden box, he held a deadly grudge against the half Mazoku boy.

Adalbert on the contrary had developed a fondness for him. That day they had spent together in the deserts of Seisoku, where he had been forced to rescue Yuri from the very people he ruled over, had left its mark on them both.

Adalbert had been surprised to find the boy mysteriously as blind as Julia and visibly starved. His clothes that had fit him so well before now looked at least a size too big, and they were stained with blood. The boys favorite knight, Lord Weller, had failed him it seemed, and Adalbert found himself taking up his role as knight protector and parent (as he'd come to observe from interactions between the two), even if only for a day. He was swept away by memories of his former fiancé as he taught the boy how to eat when you couldn't see by guiding his small hands and as he healed his stupidly self-inflicted hand wound with houjustu. Such a clumsy boy. If Yuuri had let it go any longer infection would have set in. He had gritted his teeth. Was this Conrart's doing? He thought he had more sense than that. His job was to take care of the boy, and Adalbert knew both Conrart's job and his happiness depended on him being well.

He had the same lust for life as she did. Covered in cuts and bruises and bony and pale from lack of food, he still found the energy to smile and to push on. Adelbert could see how tired he was too by the way he stumbled to the bed for a nap. Yuuri had an indomitable soul, because he had her soul. The sparkle in his black eyes as he thanked him for healing his wounds was the same as in her pale blue eyes. She had been born without sight, but that had never stopped her. Her magic ability had been incredible, and she developed her skills without the gift the sight. She was happy, even if she lacked something so many people viewed as essential for success. Yes, he could see why Shin Makoku's citizens so favored Yuuri as their king. The power and will of the White Witch of Shin Makoku lived on still in him. So much power in such a small and fragile looking body. Could he ever truly gain full control over it?

Lord Weller seemed frustrated when he came back to find the boy well fed and healed of his most dangerous wounds. Adalbert didn't know what had occurred between the two, but Yuuri seemed more on edge than usual in the presence of his knight. Conrart would compete for the boy's favor, he could see that. Not that he had an invested interest in being Yuuri's favorite. He had come to care for the boy, but not enough to deal with Conrart's protective nature. Despite the tension, Adalbert could see relief pass between the two, and he knew their bond was still strong.

The search for the forbidden boxes had been indefinitely halted after their search in Seisoku came up empty. Shin Makoku had more pressing matters to attend to, such as the loss of its Maoh.

He'd picked up some rather interesting information on the way there and had sent a carrier pigeon ahead of him announcing his arrival and intended peaceful meeting with the former maoh. He hadn't been sure if Yuuri even still resided in the castle but figured Voltaire and Christ would pass on the information reliably.

He'd received a returning pigeon with a thin sheet of paper tie to its leg. "Come as you will", it said, "But watch your step. Others may not take your return so well. Perhaps we need to talk." Signed Conrart Weller, in the man's small tightly packed script.

Adalbert had laughed, stalling his horse a few miles away from the castle when he'd received it. No doubt his visit was being kept a secret for the time being. The Kings guard dog was still as loyal as ever. He'd earned his title as the Lion of Luttenburg and was truly a force to be reckoned with when he was fighting for something- or someone, as Adalbert had witnessed. He had jokingly heard the king, his most important person and charge, referred to as the kitten of Shhin Makoku by some of his less devoted subjects, a nod to their obvious close relationship. Well, no matter. He was a force to be reckoned with himself. He'd won more battles then Weller had ever witnessed.

He didn't hate Conrart Weller like he once had. The passion he got for imagining the man's blood spilling out deep crimson and hot over his sword no longer there. He wasn't his greatest fan either. The two had come to a truce in Seisoku. Adalbert had always felt there was something special about the child Weller treasured and kept so close. The young man's innocence and outspoken nature could be so irritating, but also nostalgic, like a warm cup of brandy on a cold day. He had a knack for getting into trouble, but Conrart never seemed to dislike him for it. He would toss all his duties to the side, worry for the boy taking priority in his mind over all else.

Adalbert had been fired up at first over a man of Conrart's status demoting himself to caring for a young and inexperienced king. He couldn't understand it. Conrart had never had children of his own in his life and had never expressed any real desire to do so. So why become so attached, to a boy he had never even met until recently? Of course, it had to do with her, he figured out later. Conrart had always had a fondness for Julia Von Wincott and had been crushed by her sudden death on the battlefield. As had he. The desire to hold her one last time in his arms and ask her why, why would she ever need to die for the Shinou? She could have stayed with him, where she was meant to be. He never could change Julia's mind when she had decided on something though. She would have looked up at where she knew his eyes were to be and given him that sad little smile she sometimes gave him when she was trying to explain that things were for the greater good and told him that it would be alright. But it wasn't alright. It had never been alright since then. He had never even known that someone else possessed her soul. She made her own choice to give up her life for what she thought was the greater good. But no one had told him her last wish. He had thought her gone forever until a few months ago. And Conrart had never even thought him worthy to know a part of her had survived!

Damn, he shouldn't let Lord Weller get him riled up like that. The half Mazoku was right about one thing, as much as he hated to admit it. He needed to put his differences with Weller aside if wanted a place in Yuuri's life. Yuuri was peaceful and he would ever forget it if he shed the blood of someone he cared about. It would be burned into his memories forever.

Conrart had met him at the castle gates, which were shut tightly. The sunlight cast shadows behind his slight but imposing figure. He always could be the smallest out of a bunch of warriors, but he would always come out on top. He stood with his sword hanging from his belt but made no move to reach for it. He appeared to be alone, but that didn't matter. He was the type of man who was more than capable of taking on fight with a good-sized group alone.

"Nice to see you again." Adalbert smirked and waved, deliberately lifting his cape to show his weapon was fully sheathed. "I intend for this to be a pleasure visit. We came to an understanding of sorts a while back. I'm assuming it still stands?"

Conrad tried to smile, but it wasn't very convincing. It looked like it was taking a great effort on his part to try be optimistic about the two of them meeting up again. They had been at odds with each so recently. This was an unfamiliar way of interacting for both parties. But he nodded and moved to unlock the heavy castle gates.

That's how they had both ended up in Conrad's new office, with a tray with freshly brewed tea and muffins delivered by Doria, one of the castle maids. The green haired girl had looked surprised to see Adalbert Von Grantz, who had not been spotted in Shin Makoku for over twenty years and had stammered over her polite greeting to the two men. She had hurried off, leaving the tea and muffins to likely go spread the word.

"So Yuuri really has abandoned his place at king?" Adalbert broke the silence between with the question he'd been burning to ask. His tea was pleasantly sweet, but hot as it burned his tongue.

Conrad smiled softly. "No, never Yuuri. He always valued his position as king. He was forced to give it up. It was a joint decision by the royal council. My word would have been overruled if I had decided to vote against them."

"If? You didn't defend him anyway? I thought you were his sword and shield!" Adalbert felt a surge of anger. They had gone through so much in Seisoku to save the king of this pathetic country, and now this sad excuse for an advisor and a guard thought it was okay to throw all that away? "What about Shin Makoku, and everything we all went through to save it from the boxes?"

He was very far away. His eyes were pointed at Adalbert, but they seemed to look beyond him, at somewhere he couldn't begin to guess. "I am, now and for as long as I able to be. We both know even if he weren't king, and I wasn't his sworn protector, that we would have thrown away everything in that cursed country to save him. I gave you his life out in that desert, and you took it, even if he did end up interfering with our plan. You said back at the tournament that all you wanted was to snuff it out like an old candle, but you didn't."

Conrart smiled at him, despite his current red-faced scowl. "It was never about Shin Makoku. Dacascos told me a few days ago what you asked him on that ship to Seisoku- if Yuuri was happy where he was. It wasn't for me either."

"Get on with it!" Adalbert slammed a fist down on the table. The tea cups rattled on the tray and tea splashed out onto the tablecloth. "That doesn't explain why you foolishly voted against keeping him on the throne. This was everything he ever worked for and you think its fine to just throw that away, right in front of him? Yes, I care if he's happy! Do you?"

"His happiness has always been important to me. So is his safety however. Adalbert, you were a man of politics once. What do you think would happen if we were to let a young man, still in his teens and so young compared to the average mazoku, rule a country without even his sight or enough control over his magic to defend himself? I have no doubts about Yuuri's capability to manage most of his duties, as he has more than enough counsel. However, he is a target for all of his enemies even more so than before now. How could I agree to let him sit on the throne when I could very well wake the next morning to find a dagger imbedded in his chest, or that he'd been poisoned? I wouldn't want to wake up after that, to know I'd failed him again. I can't defend him from everything all at once. So, the logical decision was to take some of the dangerous factors out of his life."

Conrart had been gripping his tea cup so tightly his fingers were white with tension. This was turning out to be a lot more stress inducing than Adalbert would have liked.

"It may not be what he wanted, but it's what needed to be done. He told me he understood but I know he didn't. I still struggle to know the difference between the two sometimes."

The blood had stopped rushing to Adalbert's face and he had begun to sink into an introspective calm. Conrart always seemed so composed and ready to make decisions. Julia had always been his weak point. No, people he loved were his weak point. He had just never noticed until now.

"Did you do it for him or for you?"

"What?" Conrart's was suddenly less distant and snapped to attention at the question. He got up and leaned against the room exterior doors leading to the balcony. "Both, if I must be honest. I wonder if Yuuri knows that…"

Adalbert clapped a heavy hand on Conrart's shoulder. "You know, you're a lucky man. You got to love Julia and know her. I feel sorry for the people who never had the honor of meeting someone so kind."

"She loved you," he replied. "I could never compare to what she felt for you."

"Yeah, she did. I loved her too. We both lost her."

It was then that two people who spent over twenty years at odds with each other felt a mutual kinship.

"Men like us- killers, traitors- we don't get second chances Weller. Don't waste this one. It kills me everyday to think it, but she's not coming back. But he's here. So, don't forget about him while you're stuck in your own head."

The door to the office creaked and swung open then and Yuuri walked in, seemingly unaware of the present conversation. He was dressed casually today in an oversized long-sleeved sweater that looked to have belonged to Conrart and some jeans he'd brought form Japan. He hadn't bothered to put on shoes. "Conrad? Adalbert? Is that you guys? Gunter told me you'd be here." He could still make out shapes, lights and shadows the last Adalbert had heard, and he carefully mad his way over to Adalbert and rested a hand on his chest. Their height difference was substantial, and he had to stretch just to get that far. It was an old habit Julia had as well to reliably locate who she was speaking to. Some found it odd, but Adalbert found it charmingly nostalgic.

"It is you!" Yuuri exclaimed. "I was so worried, leaving you alone in Seisoku like that. But why did you come back?"

Adalbert noticed the boy still looked thin from his terrifying adventure in the desert. He didn't look much heavier than when he had last seen him. He wondered if he had was depressed or refusing to eat. Well, he was a skilled cook and baker. He'd trying to make something for the boy later on.

Conrad looked uncomfortable at the sudden addition to their conversation. "Adalbert is here for a short vacation form his duties in Seisoku. He came to check up on things here in Shin Makoku."

"I came back to check up on you. Looks like you haven't brought the castle down yet."

"Oh, he's made an effort," Conrart smirked.

"Hey! I'm not that bad" Yuuri tried his best to look offended but was blushing furiously. "Hey, I was originally gonna come here anyway before I found out that _someone _didn't bother to tell me that Adalbert was coming. I've wanted this for a long time, you know. Adalbert, I want to show you what I've done here and what this country has to offer. I propose we all grab jackets and head out to town. Conrad, we were going to go sometime soon anyway to get some new winter clothes. It's already starting to get chilly."

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Reviews are greatly appreciated! Tell me what you thought about the plot and characters in particular. It can be a struggle to get everyone at least reasonably in character.


	2. Chapter 2

**For Welsh89 who asked and everyone who hasn't read the novels:** Yeah, there are about a dozen novels out right now and they are wonderful! A lot darker and more intense than the anime though, particularly in the later books. They are one of my favorite novel series so far, but just saying these books will both break you emotionally and make you laugh but they are so worth it. There is no official English translation, but a great group of people created a sight and translated everything extremely well. That's where you read them. They are called the Maru Ma novels if you want to give them a read. They are unfinished so far.

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The Capitol was beautiful this time of year. The yearly autumn festival had just passed, and the local street vendors were still set up with huge discounts on all their wares that they hadn't sold. The cold air bit at their faces, but it was a refreshing change from the brutal summer most of the northern countries had experienced this year. Adalbert breathed it in gratefully.

The townspeople were all dressed in thick sweaters and cloaks. You could clearly tell the nobles from the lower class. He wondered if they realized that their gems studded winter wear made them a target for pickpockets. All of it must have cost a fortune. He couldn't fathom spending so much money on something so gaudy.

Vendors saw Conrart walking down the street with their former king and started yelling their new low prices to someone they knew had the money to spare. And he did, Adalbert knew. Conrad had never been a big spender, choosing instead to horde away his money. Judging by the thick wool cloak with the golden brooch that was wrapped around Yuuri, Yuuri had been his biggest expense in a long time. It was no trouble though. The pair both seemed happy with each other, and Conrad clearly enjoyed having something to spend his money on. After all, Yuuri had done for all of them, he deserved some nice things, so Adalbert just smiled and decided not to bring it up to either of them.

Conrart guided Yuuri through the tight knit crowds with ease, holding his hand and pulling him along. The two had the same effortless pace, something that surely must have taken weeks to perfect. Yuuri didn't look nervous at all. He trusted Conrart wholeheartedly to not lead him into any walls or let him crash into anyone. Human instinct demanded caution when you couldn't see, and it was difficult to overcome and to trust your steps to guide you safely. That was certainly a wonder that Yuuri had managed it.

Adalbert supposed that spending so much time with Julia had its advantages for Conrart. His time with her seemed like years ago, even though it had only been twenty years. When you, lived for three hundred years, twenty years was like yesterday. Every day without her had felt like an eternity for a long while. His heart still felt like it was in pieces sometimes. She had taken little bits and pieces with her when she left. He never he would never have them back. When you loved someone, you gave them a piece of yourself, and even after they were gone they kept it forever. Julia had taken more than most.

A young woman wrapped in a hole ridden thin burlap cloak waved them over, holding a small wooden cup with steam rising out of the top. "Fresh cider young sirs, just made this morning! Only a galleon a cup. Yuuri's eyes went wide and he tugged on Conrad's sleeve. His guardian slipped a galleon into his hand and he held it out in front of him for the woman to take. She placed the coin in an empty bowl on the counter of her booth. Had this been the only coin she'd gotten all day? Of course, she could have much more hidden under the counter or in her pockets but judging by the woman's shivers from the cold her cloak offered little protection form, she didn't appear to have much money to her name.

"I'll take a cup too," He announced, and rooted through his money pouch on his belt while she poured him a glass. The woman was shocked when he dumped a pile of gold coins into her outstretched hands.

"S-sir it's only one galleon!" she stammered.

"Consider it a donation to the business. I consider myself a bit of a businessman myself. I see potential here." Of course, he dealt in the business of being a sell sword, but she didn't know that. He tried to avoid her direct gaze. Damn, he was never good at things like this.

Tears sparkled in the corner of her eyes. Why did he have to get someone dramatic? This was embarrassing enough as it was! People were starting to stop and stare on the streets.

He walked away from the cider stand and sipped his cider, trying to find something to distract himself from the scene he'd just caused. It was very sweet, and the perfect temperature. It was some of the best he'd had. Perhaps he had made a good investment.

"That was a great thing to do you know." Yuuri had walked up behind him and was grinning, his cider cupped in his hand. "I had Conrad promise to make an anonymous donation to Sophia's family as soon as possible. It seems she has two children and has been struggling to make ends meet since her husband passed away. We can afford to help. She says thank you too."

He grunted in reply. So, her name was Sophia.

"So how have you been since we last saw each other? Messiah life treating you well?"

"Not as exciting as it used to be. So, I thought I'd travel for a while."

They discussed everything they had been up to over the past month. Adalbert had been helping villages who needed a soldier or a hunter on his way up to the capitol. Yuuri had been spending time with Conrad traveling around the country.

"He's been teaching me how to camp and cook fish we caught. Well, as much as I can anyway." He sounded depressed for a second. He quickly took another sip of cider though, and his frown disappeared. "I'm doing well. And my fish no longer tastes like ashes."

"You sure you're alright, brat? The strongest of soldiers have trouble adjusting to such dramatic changes in life. And last I checked, you barely knew how to swing a sword correctly. It'd take a fool not to notice how thin you still are, or that dark look on your face when you think no one's looking. Conrart sees it too. I wondered why he hasn't done anything about it. If there's something wrong, he can afford the best doctor money can buy."

"I don't need a doctor," Yuuri replied, biting his lip. "Conrad's great, and he always does his best for me and everyone else. We've been spending a lot of time together lately and he makes me so happy sometimes but he…"

"Sometimes? Adalbert was pleased with the direction the conversation was heading. He could be very convicing when he wanted to be. He would make the boy feel relaxed and safe with him and get him to take down those stubborn mental walls of his.

"I don't like it when it's dark. I can't even make out the shadows or shapes anymore and I'm scared because it's cold and dark and I can't tell where I am. I had trouble sleeping back in the desert because of it.

"Surely you know that Conrart would never let anything happen to you? He has pledged his sword and his life to you, and he takes his vows seriously."

"That's the problem, I guess. He's had to change his whole life around for me, and I can never repay that kind of debt. He gives me so much, but I can't give anything back. I could never ask him to give up his life for me either. He tried to do it once and when I thought he was gone I didn't know what to do with myself. He was gone and so was I, for a while. I didn't know who I was anymore or what I wanted."

"What do you plan on doing about this? You look sickly, boy. I could see the worry in Weller's eyes when you walked in on us talking this morning."

Yuuri didn't say anything and drank the rest of his cider like he hadn't heard the question. "I'd better get Conrad. He's still talking with Sophia." He got up and felt his way along the wall of a nearby building, calling for Conrart.

Adalbert wondered how to deal with this. Julia had been born blind and had never suffered through any major life adjustments because of it to his knowledge. She had always seemed at peace with herself and her sightless world. Well, here was a puzzle indeed. He wondered if it was even worth helping the former maoh. What would be the point? He'd likely get sucked into world of trouble Yuuri seemed to attract. Not to mention Conrart's irritation at him prying into his and Yuuri's personal lives.

He sighed. Why did he feel so conflicted?

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The air had grown unpleasantly cold on their walk back to Blood Pledge Castle, and they all shivered. Yuuri held his cloak closed tightly around his body, probably wishing for another cup of warm cider. Conrart had wanted to get back home as quickly as possible so he wouldn't develop a cold.

It was a pleasant day, and Adalbert thought later that he should have known, should have guessed that things were too perfect, Yuuri's smile too warm on the cold winter's day, Lord Wellers gaze searching the streets for trouble too calm. The screaming started suddenly, two angry voices in the field stretching out before them and then Yuuri was gone, a blur with his cloak swinging behind him in the breeze, following the sound of the commotion.

"Yuuri!" Lord Weller was after him in a second, his sword drawn from its scabbard concealed at his hip.

The two men were in a fight for their lives. The larger one, a thick burly man with a black eye and blood streaming down his bearded face from a split lip, had his muscle corded arm raised, a red soaked dagger in hand. A slight male with a torn white shirt lied beneath him, struggling to keep his opponents' arm and it's held weapon out of his chest. He grunted in pain at the effort. Crimson blood poured from a gaping wound in his chest. The grass below the two men sparkled with fresh red dew.

Adalbert hadn't chased after Yuuri or Conrad. Lord Weller always had the situation under control. The brat was reckless, they all knew that. So, he deemed it perfectly acceptable to stand back and watch as the teen raced over to the source of the distressed noises he was hearing, Weller standing protectively behind him.

"Yuuri this is dangerous. They're trying to kill each other! Let me handle this!" Conrart grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him close and raising his sword defensively in front of them both.

"Like you handle everything else? Like you keep having to handle me? I've got this. Maoh mode still works. I'm not helpless." The boy's composure was cracking like thin ice in winter, and Adalbert watched as the waterfall of tears he'd sensed him holding back all day start to leak out. He was shaking and trying to pry his guardians' hand away.

Conrad was surprised and hesitated, loosening his grip for a moment. Yuuri ran forward, nearly tripping and falling forward into the snow. Conrart reached out to forcibly pull Yuuri away from the scene. "I never said you were…"

The two men that were fighting had ceased for a moment, the larger one who was clearly winning the battle sizing them up before rolling his eyes. They didn't appear to be any real threat to him. They hadn't recognized Yuuri, giving him the upper hand if he could activate his magic.

Yuuri stepped forward, scrunching up his nose at the clear copper scent of blood in the air. Both men had red leaking down their once dry shirts. They looked stunned at his willingness to challenge them. The larger one spared a cautious glance towards Conrart, the more realistic and immediate threat. "There's no reason to hurt each other!" Yuuri shouted. "You can work this out like civilized people, and I'm sure you can come to an understanding. Is it money? Did this guy steal your girlfriend?"

Adalbert chuckled quietly. The kid sure had a way with words. Naive, but he was some good entertainment. Conrart stood behind him, body stiff and with a frown stuck on his face. He still hadn't found a reliable way of dealing with Yuuri when he was like this. Adalbert had always known the kid had a lot of fight in him. He was just selective in choosing his battles. As the boy stepped forward and got right in the large mans face, asking what he though the was doing, hurting anyone that badly, Conrad reached forward and grabbed his arm.

Adalbert laughed again. This boy was brave. As a young boy, even he wouldn't have dared get that close to a man with murder in his eyes and white-hot hate in his voice. Now that the boy had spoken the man looked irritated that he was wasting his time. He had surely expected this to be a quick kill.

As the man's bloody dagger pierced the boy's chest though, the laughter died in his throat.

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Galleons were mentioned in the novels as a form of currency in one of the Shimaron's once, so that's what I'm going with for this story since there is no proper term for Shin Makoku currency.

Thank you so much to the people who reviewed. Reviews really make my day and encourage me to keep writing. Leave one every chapter if you feel up to it. I love hearing what people think!


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the longest chapter so far, and also the one that introduces one of the major plot points. Please everyone, review! I really love writing this story and hearing opinions. And any Yuuri and Wolfram shippers, I do support it and it will be a side plot in this story. I am not a fan of shipping in general normally and this is not that sort of story (romance isn't usually my genre) but these two are so genuine and sweet and them being with each other doesn't take over the entire story fro me. Also it's canon as of latest novels Based on the novels, I personally view Yuuri as bisexual due to his interest in Flynn, Wolfram and Sara. That's just my opinion. I am bisexual myself, so I'm using my experiences to write anything regarding that that may or may not come up in the story.**

**Well, onto the story!**

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Conrart was frozen in fear as Yuuri let out a gasp, trying to suck in the breath that was swept away from him as the dagger pierced his chest. Conrart's hand fell from his arm in shock. For a moment, Yuuri seemed relatively fine. He backed away from the furious man, who had taken up a defensive stance with his bloodied hands in front of his chest, as if that would prevent a fatal blow to the chest. His eyes widened as he took a closer look at the young man whom he had just dealt a serious blow to. Conrart could see the rising panic in his eyes as he took in the black hair and unseeing black eyes of his victim and realized what he had done. Yuuri would always have his maryoku even if he didn't sit on the throne of this country, and many people had seen the majestic and terrifying bursts of elemental power on display. Those who hadn't all knew the tales.

Yuuri stumbled and righted himself, gasping for air again, struggling to steady his breathing. The dagger was still lodged in his chest and he stared down at it in wonder.

"Conrad, this really hurts," He managed to say, wincing at the effort it took. There was a darker colored spot that had appeared on the front of his shirt.

"Yuuri, try not to move-" Conrart started to say, but then the boy crumpled to the ground and let out one of the most heart wrenching sounds he had ever heard. It was a cross between a whimper and a scream, the kind of sound that could petrify the most hardened soldier. Yuuri should never make a sound like that.

Conrart snapped himself out the shock that had him rooted to his spot on the ground and rushed over, paying no mind to the man that still stood over Yuuri astonished and trying to stutter out some sort of coherent response to save himself from the maryoku related demise he was sure was coming to him. Conrart didn't feel the cold anymore. His silent anger made him feel as if his blood was boiling. That man was a fool if he thought his death would come from Yuuri. Yuuri was so gentle, and while there were occasions when his maryoku overwhelmed him and he felt fatal retribution was necessary, he was always able to see reason. Yuuri would be guilt ridden once he came to his senses. Conrart was not so gentle. You had to be careful who you showed compassion to, especially in the heat of battle. Yuuri would not want anyone to die because of him. But if Yuuri died, he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself.

He heard Adalbert running towards them, shouting something urgently. Conrart wasn't paying attention. The whole world was nothing but the white snow and the boy in front of him, curled up into a ball with hot tears leaking down his face. They went from crystal clear to a murky red as they landed on his chest. Conrart supposed shouldn't tune everything out, what if the man attacked again while he was distracted, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the horrible sight. He'd seen wounds this bad in war on the battlefield. The men who had them usually never left.

He could see a dark red spot near the middle of Yuuri's sweater that was growing slowly wider like a blossoming rose. Luckily he hadn't landed on his chest and embedded the dagger any deeper in the wound.

The low moan of the man standing over him broke him out of his daze. His eyes were unfocused, and he looked up at the cloudy sky for a second before falling over unconscious. Conrart saw Adablert with the hilt of his sword raised over him.

Adalbert sheathed his sword and glared down at the comatose thug on the ground. "He wouldn't shut up."

He kneeled down over Yuuri and gently placed a hand on his wrist. He was struck by how small Yuuri's wrist looked in Adalbert's huge hand. "His pulse is still strong." Adalbert announced. His determined blue eyes met Conrart's brown. It may not stay like that though. We need to go. Now."

Conrart shot Yuuri a panicked look. He looked down at his hands to find they were a near solid red, and his eyes widened as he realized that had come from holding Yuuri. How much time did they have? The logical part of him knew it was not long. Maybe an hour at best.

"We need to get him to Gisella. She's the best healer in the country." Adalbert sheathed his own sword and took off his cloak. He took the thick wool fabric of the cloak, the blood on his hands staining the edges. He handed it to Adalbert. "Wrap him in this but try not to disturb the dagger. That's a lot of blood, and it may have ripped a hole in an artery or something else vital."

"Gisella's on a trip to Francia. She won't be back for at least another week," Conrart cursed himself for encouraging her to go. She had been working hard as of late and was beginning to lose sleep over her work. A reprieve seemed ideal at the time. Now his stupid decision might be the thing that killed Yuuri.

"We'll have to find help elsewhere. I can't heal a wound that serious on my own. Not even with Houseki. We need an expert."

Yuuri was whimpering and grabbing at the dagger still sticking out of his chest. Conrart could feel him beginning to shiver from the cold too. He grabbed his hand and put it back at his side. "I know it hurts but taking it out now could prove fatal. If not that, you'll be in far more pain than you already are."

Conrart ran his hand over his black hair comfortingly and started to wrap him tightly in Adalbert's cloak, being careful to leave a small opening for the dagger. He should have insisted he wear more layers before going out this morning. Maybe then he wouldn't be so cold. He should have insisted that they go out another day in the first place. They could have stayed at the castle and caught up with each other, maybe even repaired some burned bridges. Conrart couldn't help but feel that he commited some terrible wrong.

I'm taking you back to the castle," He reassured Yuuri. "Anissa knows some healing maryoku. She's very skilled and should be able to fix you right up. Just stay with me, okay?"

He tried not to notice the way that the cloak was already starting to feel wet and heavy in his hands. The dagger was supposed to help control the bleeding for a little while. Even if it was this bad now, he didn't want to think about what would happen when they had to take it out.

It was about a fifteen-minute walk back to the castle. It felt like an eternity, even while running. He was careful not to jostle Yuuri, who was breathing had begun to sound shallower over the past few minutes.

"You doing alright?" Conrart asked, relieved to see that Yuuri eyes were still open, looking up at the source of his voice. He saw him force a small smile and raise his hand in a thumbs up. His had broken out into a cold sweat and his hair was plastered to his forehead. His face was paler than usual, but the cold had dyed his cheeks a light red. He had stopped shaking. Conrart wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

Yuuri let out a weak cough against his chest, and Conrad was horrified to find a red splatter on the front of his jacket. His lung may have been punctured form the attack, he concluded, and told himself that that could be fixed too, with the right dose of healing maryoku. Julia had healed many soldiers that were predicted to die within the hour. Who was to say that Anissina couldn't do the same? She had some of the most powerful maryoku in existence right now.

They could see the castle looming over them in the distance now with its snow-capped towers and the noises of yelling and swords clashing from the soldiers training session coming from inside. The gates were shut, but two guards were posted out front. They hadn't spotted them yet. They both were wrapped in thick wool jackets and hats, with their swords hanging awkwardly form their sides. Armor that produced heat was not something that Anissina had gotten around to inventing yet, much to the military's chagrin.

"Conrad?" Yuuri asked. It was so soft he barely heard it. It must have been painful for him to speak.

"Yuuri, you don't have to talk. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise. Adalbert is here too."

"That's g-good. Y-you guys need to work together more often." He coughed again and this time a thick red stream came from between his lips. He wiped it away with his sleeve. "Greta needs you, and Wolfram and Gwendal. A lot of people do."

"Yuuri I told you that-"

"N-no. stop. You don't need to give me your life. There are people who need it more than me right now. If I have to leave, fine. But don't leave them too, Conrad. You said that we'd meet again in another place if the unthinkable happened, right? That doesn't have to be now."

He couldn't lose Yuuri. Not again. Yuuri was his reason for living, his second chance at life. He'd lost Julia, he couldn't lose him too! Most demons in Shin Makoku believed in reincarnation. There had always been evidence of it, and of its existence Conrart was certain after being directed to deliver the next maoh's soul to a new body on earth.

He'd met Yuuri in every lifetime, he was certain of it, even if he couldn't remember anything beyond Julia. Ulrike had once told him that history tends to repeat itself, and that his assigned duty to deliver the next maoh's soul to earth was no accident. Many years ago he wasn't sure what that meant, but now he understood it all too well. He didn't care why they always had to meet, or what they were to each other, only that they did meet. As a comrade in the heat of battle, as the target of his unrequited love, as what he considered his own child. Even if they couldn't remember, that familiarity had been there from the start for them both.

He was still afraid though. No one knew the mechanics behind reincarnation. What if this was the last time they would know each other, or be reincarnated at all? Conrart knew that if he was reincarnated without Yuuri he would survive, but there would always be a Yuuri shaped emptiness, a hole deep within himself that nothing could ever truly fill. He had to save him. The harsh reality of losing him today was more than he could bear.

There was a flurry of frantic activity as Conrart rushed in through the castle doors and into the main reception hall of the castle, Adalbert following close behind. They had to get to the infirmary immediately. He hoped Anissina was close by.

The sight of them stumbling in and searching the area for any qualified help caused the small familiar group of people gathered with drinks in their hands to stare. They instantly focused on Conrart holding Yuuri, who was by now drifting in and out of awareness. The boy whimpered.

They were Wolfram and the castle's three head maids, and they all gasped as they noticed the blood.

Sangria screamed and yelled that she was going to find help. Lasagna and Doria followed close behind.

Wolfram was standing in a puddle of the red wine he'd been drinking just a moment before. The glass lay shattered beneath him. He nearly slipped on the fragments as he pushed the rest of the crowd aside and made his way to the front. He took in the sight of his older brother holding the still form of his fiancé in his arms.

"Yuuri! There's so…much blood. What happened brother? He looks half dead!" He reached a shaking hand to stroke Yuuri,s smooth black hair. Yuuri's eyes flickered in his direction briefly, but there was otherwise no response. He was fading. This wasn't good.

Adalbert carefully took Yuuri from Conrart and laid him out on the stone floor. He began unwrapping Conrart's damp cloak. "He got involved with some local thugs and got on the wrong end of their blade. I'll be going to pay them a visit at a later date." The malicious look that tightened his features and created deep shadows over his eyes normally would have given even Conrart chills if the situation had not been so dire. "He's losing too much blood. We can't wait the ten minutes to get him to the infirmary. That dagger has to come out soon and we have to stop the bleeding or he's going to die. We need an expert healer on the scene when we do it."

"Gisella is gone." Wolfram moaned, the grave reality of the situation hitting him full force. "Those wounds are serious. Is that the dagger?"

Conrart nodded, his reply stuck in his throat. They'd have to pull the dagger out to heal Yuuri. He was a seasoned soldier, but the sight of this much blood coming from Yuuri of all people made his stomach twist into knots. He was glad he hadn't eaten for a few hours.

"I know a bit about stopping the blood flow. I'll do as much as I can for now Adalbert. Run and find Anissina. She should be up in her laboratory, It's up the stairs and down the hall, last door on the right. Inform any guards you find quickly that someone's been hurt badly and that you need to know her whereabouts immediately. We don't have much time."

He nodded and ran off up the nearby staircase and disappeared. His heavy boots pounded in the distance.

Wolfram sat by Yuuri's side, whispering words Conrart couldn't make out to him. His emerald eyes were clouded with a mix of hot anger, anger that anyone dare hurt Yuuri, and worry that this would be the last moment he had with him. He rarely saw such tenderness in him.

Conrart felt a stab of pity for his youngest brother. Wolfram wanted to marry Yuuri more than anything. Yuuri was so new to the ways of this world. He could be so easily taken advantage of. Saralegui had tried and may have even taken Yuuri's life in the end, if he had not interfered. Since then there had been a silent thank you on Yuuri's lips whenever the country of small Shimaron was brought up in conversation. They had never sat down and had a proper conversation about the events of that week in the catacombs with the other young king. It was a taboo subject for Yuuri. Conrart doubted he'd ever hear the full story.

He thought back to when Yuuri first came to this world and the idea of his beloved king taking a queen or prince consort had crossed his mind. Yuuri being able to find a truly honest and caring partner that wasn't in it for his high social status was difficult to imagine. The fact that Conrart's own brother became such a suitable match baffled him. The two were so different, and they used to fight with each other (Or Wolfram fought with Yuuri) all the time. They soon settled into a tolerance for each other though, and what that had turned into Conrart couldn't quite name.

Back in Seisoku, after he and Yuuri had a serious argument over his own values and the boy had stormed off to his room to cool down. Conrart had taken his time to cool down too, but he had still wanted to check on Yuuri's safety throughout the night. Seisoku so far had proven to be and laden with dangers.

He had found his younger brothers arms wrapped around Yuuri, both of them cocooned in blankets to protect them from the cold desert nights. Yuuri looked comfortable, and the most peaceful he had in months.

Seeing Wolfram now, shaking and holding Yuuri unmoving hand in his own reminded him of that time. He would not be the only one broken today if Anissina didn't get to Yuuri in time.

A small high scream startled Conrart from across the room. Wolfram's eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet.

Greta stood at the edge of the room, barefoot with a badly sewn toy rabbit in her arms. She gripped it tightly and whimpered, unable to draw her eyes away from the horrific scene.

Conrart forced himself to stay focused and methodically cut open the front of Yuuri's shirt to see the source of the wound. Of all the things for the poor girl to walk in on. As if she hadn't experienced enough traumatizing experiences in her life. He couldn't let himself be distracted though. Yuuri's life depended on it.

"What happened to Yuuri?" She yelled, her eyes moistening. "He's hurt really bad. Wolfram, you have to help him!" She ducked under Wolframs outstretched arm and stood in front of Conrart, who was ripping a piece off the bottom of his shirt to try and stop the bleeding. She was crying, and her face was growing red and blotchy.

"I can't lose my father Conrad! Not even one of them! I don't want to be alone again."

"Greta, you won't." He tried to console her while he continued to work. Adalbert should be back soon with Anissina. His work was almost done. This was no place for a little girl though. "I need you to do something very important for me. I need you to go to Gwendal. Tell him that I said we have a situation and that now would be a great time for another sewing lesson. Everything will be fine, Greta. Wouldn't you like Gwendal to teach you more about sewing?"

She nodded reluctantly. She was a smart girl. She knew she shouldn't be here, that she couldn't help the situation. When Yuuri was better she could be by his side and smile for him. Yuiri always said that was how she helped best. She had her rabbit in a death grip now. "I-I'll go. Just take good care of Yuuri, please."

Conrart smiled warmly. "Well, of course." He hoped he could keep his promise to her. She was a special little girl, both to him and to Yuuri.

A few minutes after Greta had run for help, Annisina had charged down the stairs with Adalbert and to the front of the room, pushing Conrart out of the way. Adalbert was carrying a large brown box. He placed it on the floor and open it to reveal an assortment of small glass bottles, bandages and cloths. A first aid kit.

As usual Anissina was all business as she examined Yuuri's wound closely. She cursed under her breath.

"This is deep. He's barely breathing at all now, and I fear this beyond my magical ability. Sewing the wound shut won't do much. By the way he's breathing I'd bet there's an internal injury. Sewing the wound shut won't do any good. He's also lost a lot of blood."

Conrart silently pled with the Shinou to do what she could not. He had never liked the god that his country worshiped. The Shinou said this, the Shinou wanted that. All his wants and needs had done was take everything away from. And now they would take Yuuri too.

"I may be able to be of assistance," a voice chimed in from the doorway.

A young woman with long pale blond hair and a priestess gown gestured for them to follow. Her face was solemn.

"Lady Ulrike wishes to speak with you. Please bring his majesty."

Conrart's heart fluttered with a new hope.

Ulrike had no tears in her eyes, but perhaps after 800 years one grew used to seeing tragedy.

The way that she met Conrart's eager gaze when he entered the shrine carrying Yuuri told him that this was not to be a miracle visit. His heart fell.

Adalbert growled in frustration at the lack of progress in fixing Yuuri. So many makoku but so few skilled healers!

Anissina stood at the back of the small group. She had her arms folded across her chest, frustrated at her own lack of maryoku ability. Healing had never been her specialty. She may wish for a future where a woman could rule this country just as well as any man, but looking down at its dying most recent ruler, she stifled that wish. It would be too soon, a consequence too great. She still considered Yuuri their monarch. He had done much good for this country, and he had earned her respect.

Murata had joined them upon arrival, his mouth set in a permanent frown. He had been leaning against the wall, playing with his glasses and deep in thought. The Daikenja was always a strategist, eager to find the best way to solve a problem. He tried not to look directly at Yuuri. He may have been a strategist, but he was not immune to the emotional impact of seeing his best friend in such a vulnerable state.

Conrart was trying to remain calm. His eminence had the right approach. Panicking would get him nowhere. Though he had lost consciousness a few minutes before on the way to the shrine, Conrart swore he felt Yuuri squeeze his hand.

"Can you do anything for him?" Adalbert stepped up to bow at Ulrike's feet. Though he had never had much respect for Shin Makoku's religious beliefs regarding the Shinou, Ulrike had proven to be a kind women many years before, and much wiser than her young appearance might suggest. She was a close friend of Julia's.

Ulrike shook her head. "Possibly, if it is not too late. I can only stave off the inevitable if it is however. My magic is great, but that sort of healing is beyond my ability. It is beyond everyone's, except for Lady Julia. If death truly wishes to claim him, even she could not stop his life force from draining completely."

"There must be something more you can do!" Conrart yelled. Having placed Yuuri down on the stone floor, he kicked the wall. "With all your magical expertise, there must be something you can do to help!"

Ulrike lowered her head. "I have called you here so that I may help the best I am able to. That is all I can promise."

Murata sighed and moved to stand next to her. "Magic does have its limits. We can try a few things however, and see if we can restore some of his lost blood and heal the internal wounds. But seeing the state of him… I doubt it will succeed."

Adalbert growled. "There is something more isn't there? You both look conflicted. You, Daikenja, have been silent the entire time."

"Lord Van Grantz, not all magic should ever be used. There are consequences when messing with things like souls and life and death, some of them too great to hear."

"It can save him if done right though."

"In a sense, yes. This kind of spell though-"

"Do it." Conrart spoke up. He had Yuuri draped across his lap. "Please. There's not much time. You two are experts and can be trusted with this."

The high priestess and Murata Ken exchanged worried looks before both nodding.

"I suppose I've done worse." Murara ran a hand through his hair. "I'm unsure about the consequences of this however. But we can try."

Ulrike spoke up. "I know the process." She kneeled over Yuuri and lifted his blue necklace over his neck. She held it out in front of her. "Remarkable. I feel her, like a distant memory. This may work." She motioned for everyone to move away.

She whispered something that none of them could make out, the necklace clutched in her hand. Her hands and the necklace glowed a faint purple that cast dancing shadows over the walls.

She placed a palm on Yuuri's chest and winced. "There is a wound. Thoughts and memories trickle from it like a slow leak. They are not his but they come from him. I must first seal it."

The glow became so bright everyone was momentarily blinded. Yuuri choked, jolted awake by the sudden rush of pure maryoku being poured into him. He own blue maryoku collided with Ulrike's. It was quickly smothered, and suddenly both lights died. The dagger that had been imbedded in Yuuri's chest lay to the side.

Yuuri sat up panting. The blue necklace was back around his neck. The unbearable pain in his chest and lungs had faded to a sharp stabbing that came and went. But his breathing was still uneven, as if he'd run a marathon in only a few minutes.

Ulrike wrapped an arm around him. Her white robe draped itself over his chest, a thin barrier against the chill of the stone room. "Calm yourself. You're reacting to an overload of maryoku. Nice, deep breaths. There you go."

"Yuuri!" Wolfram wept tears of relief as he squeezed his fiance tightly. His normally perfect outfit was getting stained with blood, but he didn't notice. He gave Yuuri a quick kiss and both of them blushed, unused to expressing affection in public.

"Wolfram...what happened?" Yuuri rubbed his eyes as if waking up from a long sleep. "I was stabbed and then Conrad was carrying me. What came after that?"

Conrart joined Wolfram in hugging Yuuri. "Thank goodness you're okay. We almost lost you, your majesty."

"Conrad, it's Yuuri. You haven't done that in months. I thought we were over this."

Conrart held Yuuri at arms length. The wound on his chest was gone. The leftover blood still remained and a thick scar that ran over the left side of his ribs, but the wound itself had closed.

"I'm afraid he was lost for a while." Ulrike gazed down at the blue necklace, bright and shining in the shadowy room. "I managed to hold him here with the power of this." She grabbed the blue pendant in her hand and held it gingerly, smiling nostalgically. "He is tied to it now however. His life exists not in himself, but in this. Julia Von Wincott had truly powerful magic. She holds him here. Seperate the two and it will be undone."

She looked uneasy. "There is more. There is a wound, a slash cut in the surface of your soul that grows deeper by the day. I have narrowed it, but not sealed it. Please do not be frightened by what I say, but understand that you have lived many lives. Do not forget this one. I have more I can do about this issue, but it will take time. You are a lucky young man, Yuuri Shibuya."

Yuuri's hands took the pendant back and stroked it. His calm black eyes were filled with wonder. He held it close to his heart.

* * *

A tall man in a thick black cloak watched the temple of the Shinou from outside the castle walls. His face was wrinkled with age. He had managed to evade capture in the nearby villages but was having more trouble this close to the castle. Even with no official maoh, security was tight.

He had been gazing into his round crystal ball for a while now, viewing the scene happening inside the temple with renewed interest. He hadn't realized any knowledge of that forbidden spell still existed. Although he supposed when you were dealing with high priestess's and people who remembered four thousand years worth of past lives anything could happen.

He ran his hand over the glass and the image of Shin Makoku's former maoh, alive and surrounded by his joyful companions, disappeared. He would have to ponder how to deal with this new development. He'd have to be careful with how he made his next move. The boy's friends and family would be on high alert from now on.

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**Review button guys! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

I am so sorry this took so long. I never stopped working on it but writer's block had me beat. In addition college started up again and I've been putting a massive amount of time into planning for my upcoming trip to Japan in May. I'm staying in-yes, very ironic- Shibuya, Tokyo. So I've been crazy busy. But this chapter is finally here.

* * *

"It's been two weeks, I think I'm strong enough to attend a ball of all things. It's a few hours of dancing, food and chatting with some nobles."

Yuuri tried to sound as confident as possible. Adalbert and Conrart were less than convinced. Both glared sternly at him. Conrart had allowed Yuuri out of bed for a few hours a week ago for their usual daily walk through the gardens. That morning had ended with Yuuri having a sudden dizzy spell and being carried back to his room.

Yuuri had been stuck in bed by Gisella's orders for two weeks. She had insisted that until they knew how Ulrike's miraculous spell would effect his body he would need to remain under close supervision. For Yuuri that meant trying to sneak out of his bedroom late at night only to find Conrart waiting in the hallway giving him an intense disappointed stare. He always gave an innocent pleading look, gazing at the freedom of the hallway behind him. It was hard to resist, but Conrart managed.

For Adalbert that meant ignoring the whispers from some of the less than pleased castle residents about his presence here. He had been absent for twenty years, and not everyone was ready to welcome someone back that many considered a traitor to the country.

Immediately after being healed Yuuri was abnormally weak to his clear displeasure. Every time he fell on the cold stone floor when trying to walk long distances he was more irritated than in pain. He kept trying no matter how much he fell. Stubborn as always. His protests when Adalbert tried to kindly carry him back to back to bed attested to this.

Yuuri struggled with walking and keeping food down for the first week. Wolfram had remarked that it was like watching himself at sea. Yuuri compared the aftermath of his experience to a mild case of the flu. There were storm clouds in his mind that dampened his already somber mood as of late even more. He would gaze out the window sometimes, letting the sunlight warm his face. Conrart would watch the light bathe his figure in a warm glow. He was so pale he almost seemed translucent.

Ulrike claimed it was from so much of her maryoku being forced into his own soul. His own maryoku would soon replenish itself and his strength would return. His body had treated Ulrike's foreign maryoku like a virus at first, and like a patient receiving a prosthetic limb his body would need time to adjust and accept it.

The necklace had remained around his neck the entire time. The thought that Yuuri could die if he took it off scared Conrart at first, but after a few days it was a thought he could shove to the back of his mind. Yuuri could function without this being a major issue- as long as the necklace was not removed for any reason. The many ways it could be removed by force drove him mad the first few days. He noticed Yuuri had taken to shoving it underneath his shirts. Conrart wondered how hard it must be to ignore it with the cold weight of the shining blue stone always resting on his chest. He reached under his shirt sometimes to grasp it in-between his fingers then quickly removed his hand as if it burned.

Wolfram had visited Yuuri everyday, not saying much but grasping his hand protectively, as if any minute the fragile illusion of life would shatter into a million pieces. They talked often, and Yuuri would refuse to look Wolfram in the eyes sometimes. His little brother always knew when something was wrong with Yuuri. He had journeyed all the way to Big Shimaron on such a feeling. If he were to look directly at Yuuri, he'd see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes associated with his precious necklace. They all tried to forget it was there. Acknowledging it would cement the fact that this miracle was at its core only temporary, and could be ripped away from them at any time. No, he would not let that happen.

Conrart thought back to the day that Yuuri had almost died and still felt the dark shadow of his fear leering over him. Not much made him that afraid. He'd already lost nearly everything he would ever be afraid of losing once before. His heart ached at the possibility of losing any of it again. But he was not afraid. One day it would happen again, whether that was tomorrow or three hundred years from now. But he couldn't bear the thought of losing Yuuri, not at any point in time. His heart told him that Yuuri would live forever, the small black haired youth forever at his side dragging him into more adventures. He supposed he would, for better or for worse. He would always live in his heart, even if the unthinkable happened, a person sized ache that would never fade away. Although he had promised himself long ago that if the unthinkable came, he wouldn't have to suffer long. Being reunited in another place, wherever that may be, was an opportunity he could never throw away in any lifetime. That promise still made his heart ache.

He had met up with Gwendal soon after everything was under control once more and they had talked, longer than they had in a while actually. His older brother could be so gruff and seemingly uncaring, but after getting to know him you started to see that was not the case. The discomfort was evident as Conrart discussed with him the details of Yuuri's brush with death. Gwendal had heard about the incident after Greta had showed up at his office door crying. Knowing there was nothing he could do at that point that had not already been done he resigned himself to his fate and walked to the tomb of Shinou as if it were his own funeral march. He took the little girl with him and the two walked solemnly with her to find Conrart. Greta was so young, but so naive that she could not comprehend death. Death was something she knew quite well in fact, and she knew enough to know that running to the scene would do nothing now. Gwendal hadn't answered any of her questions about Yuuri's well-being. He looked away as if he hadn't even heard them. They had been half hearted at best anyway, a way to stave off the pain she was feeling just a bit longer and replace it with worry. As good as he was with children, there were some things that had no easy explanation even if she had expected an answer.

They learned of Ulrikes miraculous interference soon after it happened and the priestess was waiting for them outside of the tomb. Ulrike had met him there first, her long hair uncharacteristically messy and in her eyes not allowing them to go any further into the tomb. Little Greta had been clinging to the lapels of his jacket, her eyes full of grief for her adopted father. Gwendal had expressed his guilt that he had not been present to assist them earlier. He had been uncharacteristically soft-spoken, and his eyes searched the darkened doorway of the tomb behind him with naive hope. Ulrike had smiled and told them that all was well. Greta cried tears of relief.

Gwendal had visited Yuuri on occasion since then, silently handing him some of his better made knitted stuffed animals. Yuuri always smiled and thanked him. Knitting was Gwendals passion, and though his talent may not lie in accurately representing the animals he tried to recreate, one could see the great effort he put into his work. Yuuri hugged the ones he received, marveling at how soft they were. "They're like giant pillows," he grinned. Gwendal had cracked a smile. Yuuri pretended he didn't see it for his sake. One day he would teach Gwendal to smile more freely.

Right now there was a giant stuffed alligator ( or was it a seal?) Lying on its side next to Yuuri in bed. He was leaning on it like a body pillow.

Adalbert kneeled over the small bed and leaned his arm on the covers next to Yuuri. "You falling over mid waltz doesn't exactly reflect well on any of us. I know it's tough, but you need to think this through. The more you push yourself the longer it's going to take for you to be well."

Adalbert's sudden interest in their former king mystified the castle staff, and everyone had been carefully listening for any hint of an explanation. Adalbert provided none, but he did provide a quick remark that he had his own reasons to anyone that dared to ask him directly. Yuuri was one of these people, and he had been wondering the same thing since he had met up with Adalbert back in Seisoku. He didn't object to Adalbert's change of character, but the curiosity was still there.

Yuuri was never one to stay still for too long. He longed to be outside and participating in the events of castle life. Being stuck in bed just made him feel bored. And due to Conrart, his stealthy attempts at escaping weren't going anywhere. He swore the man had been trained as a ninja at some point in his life. He appeared out of nowhere sometimes.

Besides, when vague shapes and colors were the only thing you could see and you couldn't go anywhere, the things he didn't want to think about started knocking on the windows to his mind. He couldn't ignore them forever. This world was all Julia had ever known. But he could not accept this as his new world. It was like a dark curtain had been pulled over everything.

"I won't do something like that. Conrad can go with me! He can be my escort. If I start feeling sick I'll take a break and sit down for a while, I promise!"

Adalbert turned to Conrart. "Stubborn, isn't he? It's been a while though. As long as you're with him I don't see the harm in letting him dance his heart out."

Adalbert had been staying at the castle for the past two weeks. The duration of his visit had never been formally discussed, but he said he wanted to observe the aftermath of Ulrike's interference and how Yuuri would be faring. Conrart found this unusual like the rest of the castle, but whenever he tried to breach the subject Adalbert would quickly change the subject or engage himself in conversation with someone else. This made Conrart smile. Adalbert could be very rough around the edges, but Yuuri's gentle kind hearted nature had penetrated the armor he kept around his heart.

Yuuri was so excited, and he did seem more energetic than he was last week. He couldn't bring himself to refuse the request. A fun night and some extra food would do Yuuri good. Wolfram had also been bugging him about when Yuuri would be out of bed. He insisted that sight played no role in his love for his fiance and that he could easily show Yuuri that if he would just give him a chance by talking to him. Wolfram could be very forceful at times, but at times his gentle side that not many would guess he possessed would shine through.

"I agree," Conrart relented. The ball starts at nine tonight, Yuuri. We must find you an appropriate outfit. Come on. My mother has a near infinite collection of formal clothes. She will have some things you can choose from." Conrart reached over and pulled Yuuri out of bed, grabbing his hand in case he was unsteady. His hand was cold and combined with his current paleness Conrart was reminded of marble.

Yuuri was still dressed in his blue pajamas. He opened his dresser drawer and felt around for some socks. He pulled them on before holding open the door for the others.

Conrart noted he seemed to be walking steadily. He nodded approvingly. Yuuri was doing much better. He was even smiling, looking down at his legs with pride. He'd finally gotten some of his strength back.

Adalbert followed them both down a few winding hallways to a thick wooden door. He grunted as he forced the heavy door open. It was old and stuck firmly in it's frame.

The scent on Celi's favorite jasmine perfume wafted out from the closet.

Closet may have been an understatement. Conrart had been in his mother's walk-in closet a few times to help her sort her collection and place new articles of clothing in their proper places, but he was always impressed with how large this room was. It was about as large as Conrart's bedroom, and each wall was lined with racks of suits, dresses and jackets. His mother had some of his old formal suits in here and Wolframs as well.

Conrart took Yuuri's hand and led him to stand near the wall with most of the men's clothes. He lifted his hand to run it along the clothes.

"Pick something you think feels nice. You should be comfortable above all else, especially if you'll be dancing. Wolfram can be quite wild when he dances with a partner. He is a very aggressive dancer."

Yuuri blushed. "How do you aggressively dance?"

"Ask Wolfram."

Yuuri stroked the different fabrics, stopping to hold some of them and ran his fingers over them. He stopped and pulled a heavy suit off the rack.

"This is so soft! What does it look like?"

Conrart held the velvet suit up in front of him."It's lovely, and since it's winter I don't imagine you'll be too warm in it. It's a forest green suit, with a red ribbon around the collar. Just try not to get the velvet dirty. It's difficult to clean."

He handed the suit back to Yuuri. "Do you need any help putting it on?"

"Maybe with just tying the ribbon and adjusting some things. I can do most of it myself though. Just give me a minute or two."

Yuuri did manage to put the suit on correctly, but the pants were too big in the waist and the suit shirt and jacket both were overly baggy. He had to roll the waistband of the pants down a few times to make them stay up. Tailoring it would have fixed that, but the ball was in a few hours and the tailoring shops in town likely couldn't do something on such short notice.

"I can't see this, but I feel like I look ridiculous. Aren't these labeled by size?"

Conrart was stifling a laugh. He looked ridiculous. It truly was an elegant suit, fitted for royalty. Just bigger royalty. "Some are, and some are custom pieces that have no labels."

Adalbert didn't bother to hold it in. He chuckled. "Trying dancing in that and they may mistake you for one of the castle's performers."

Yuuri blushed. "Hey, aren't you two supposed to be helping?"

"We're advising you on the tragic mistake you'll be making if you decide to wear that." Conrart smirked. "Let me find you something. What's your size?"

"Small, last I checked."

Conrart looked him over intensely and poked him in the stomach. Yuuri recoiled and scowled in his general direction. "Let's go with extra small. The ones over here look to be on the smaller side."

He pushed outfits to the side, taking a few and placing them aside to try on. He started with a simple suit with a white shirt and red pants. He held them up to Adalbert who looked at them oddly but nodded approvingly.

"Lord Weller?" He asked. "Can I see that ?"

He took the suit and looked inside on the collar. "It looks like it might fit him," he observed. He leaned in closer to Conrart and whispered softly, too softly for Yuuri to hear. "That's in a child's size though."

"He doesn't need to know that." Conrart whispered. He handed the suit to Yuuri. "This one is nice too. It's white and red. My mother can pick a rose to pin to your shirt. Wolfram would love this one."

Conrart felt like he'd betrayed Yuuri by not telling him exactly what he was trying on, but he doubted anyone would know the difference if it wasn't sized for his age group. It was a very mature looking outfit. This was for his own good. The boy still hadn't gained back the weight he'd lost after returning from Seisoku. There were things here in a very small men's size, but not a vast assortment. He would also admit that his mother's tastes in fashion were not always the best. Some of the things he'd pulled off the rack should never see the light of day again. He'd found a hot pink satin ruffled shirt that should be burned at the first opportunity.

He wasn't certain a child's suit would fit either, even a very large one, but he figured it was worth a shot. He could always pretend that he hadn't looked at the size if Yuuri questioned why it was so small.

"Okay, I'm done," Yuuri called from inside the closet.

Conrart and Adalbert entered hopefully. Neither of them liked spending this much time searching for clothes. Conrart was a simple man who never took much time in selecting fashionable clothes. In the military there was no time for it, and he'd always preferred simple comfortable clothes over some of the formal wear that Wolfram was so fond of.

Adalbert practically lived in his armor and whatever clothes were easiest to fit under it.

Both could agree that this suit was a good match though- at least half of it was.

Yuuri still had his jeans on and the suits pants lay crumbled on the floor. The shirt and jacket fit him well though. It was almost a tailored fit.

Conrart fixed his shirt collar and smoothed out the jacket. "This is perfect. I suppose the pants didn't fit?"

"No. They were weirdly tiny. I couldn't get them on all the way. The rest is fine though."

Conrart gave Adalbert a prideful smile and a thumbs up.

"We can always grab some black or red pants that fit off the rack."

They had decided to grab something to eat before the ball. It was still early morning and no one had eaten breakfast yet. Yuuri had been joining the maids for meals in the kitchen occasionally. The women always enjoyed his company. He was so kindhearted and they loved to hear his stories about the far off land of Japan. Not many of the castle residents bothered to sit down and eat with them, so having Yuuri there was a real pleasure for all of them.

Sangria had made vegetable dumplings with some noodles and they were all chewing quietly. Yuuri hadn't touched much of his food. He'd had one of the dumplings, and two others lay on the edge of his plate.

Conrart watched him, frowning. "Is everything alright?" He asked.

There were times when he would get such a faraway look on his face over the past few months. He would gaze off into the distance, his eyes glazed over with a somber emotion Conrart couldn't place. He knew there were some things that Yuuri kept to himself. That didn't mean he had to always like it. A lot of problems could be solved simply by talking about them.

"Yes, I'm fine," Yuuri replied, not really paying attention. He stabbed a dumpling with his fork. It split down the middle.

"People who are 'fine' eat their dinner, not play with it." Adalbert plunked his glass full of beer down on the table. A red blush covered his cheeks.

"I am eating. See? I had like four dumplings already."

"Then stop playing with the rest and eat them. They can't be that bad. Do we really need a redo of the desert, brat? I don't particularly enjoy having to cook up a three course meal last minute."

Yuuri stuttered, embarrassed. "It was one time. I said I was sorry. Come to think of it though, I don't think I ever thanked you for that time. I'm sorry."

"Your reputation precedes you, Lord Von Grantz," Conrad interrupted. "Various countries praise your cooking ability and the obvious joy you take in preparing a meal."

"Such short notice is another thing entirely! There's no time to prepare the right ingredients. You can't get the quality of a fine meal with subpar ingredients." His beer glass was empty, and a giggling Sangria poured him another.

The other two maids stood in a corner of the room, alternating between looking at the rare sight of Adalbert under the influence and laughing softly amongst themselves.

"Subpar?" Yuuri exclaimed. "That was better than some of the best restaurants in Tokyo! Don't put yourself down."

"Julia spoke highly of your cooking as well," Conrart praised, knowing he was saying the right thing.

Adalbert smiled. It was a strange sight, and it looked wrong at first, like wearing someone else's glasses. It spoke of a fondness seldom seen on his rugged person. "She always was honest with her preferences. Couldn't stand my beef stew though."

His eyes drifted back to Yuuri, serious once more. "I don't think you'd like my stew either then. I'd still like to know what has the once great and mighty maoh so depressed though. What's the harm in telling?"

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just not overly hungry. Thanks for the concern though." He forced a reassuring grin.

"You haven't been very hungry in a month." Conrart sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I'm worried about you Yuuri. All of us see how thin you've been getting. Gwendal suggested forcing you to eat more, but I hate that idea. Something has to be bothering you. Please, I need to know the problem so I can fix it. This doesn't have to be a major issue."

Unexpected tears glistened and leaked from the corners of Yuuri's scrunched up eyes. Had he been holding this in all morning? He wiped them away quickly.

"I can fix it myself. I just need to come to terms with a few things. There's been a lot going on the past month."

"What things?" Conrart said softly. He reached over to the pitcher on the middle of the table and poured him more water. He pushed the glass towards him, urging him to drink.

The three maids looked at a rough patch in the floor, trying to distance themselves from the awkward direction this conversation was taking.

"Should we be here?" Sangria whispered to Doria. "The young man looks upset."

Doria shook her head and shrugged. "Trying to leave now might draw attention though. I don't want him to feel unwanted."

Lasagna frowned and went to the stove to get a pro of chamomile tea going. It always soothed the nerves.

Conrart relaxed his tense muscles and tried to look more at ease. "Yuuri you know you can always ask me for help. And Wolfram, Gwendal, Gunter and all of us. We want to help."

Yuuri got up from the table and shoved his chair to the side in frustration. "This isn't something you can help me with. Excuse me, but I have something I need to do." He lowered his head and tried not to meet anyone's curious gazes.

Adalbert left his seat and grabbed him firmly by the upper arm. "No, you don't. Kid, I remember well what you said to me back in town. Let yourself be fixed up. Mental wounds can be just as bad as physical ones. They're often worse."

"He's right, you know." Lasagna added, sending a comforting half smile Yuuri's way.

Adalbert pushed Yuuri back down into his chair and kept a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Tell me what would you rather have? A nice talk with your caring guard present or a more serious one alone with me. I meant what I said. Back after the tournament in Shimaron and in the desert. You won't be harmed in my care. But I can make this talk a lot more uncomfortable for you if you resist it. Please just make this easier on all of us, kid."

Conrart watched the exchange, a bit unsetted. He never knew the details of what happened during those times, and now he wondered if maybe he should have asked. He felt worry snake it's way around in his chest, tightening around his heart as he thought of what all this could be about. The air of wrongness around Yuuri the past month that was distinctly foreign to the normal contagious happiness he usually gave off was more apparent now than ever. Conrart felt energized and eager to banish it from the room. He itched to reach for his sword, but this was not a problem that he could slash away. The military had taught him much about physical conflict. He still longed for a teacher that could guide him through emotional conflict.

"Yuuri," he began, trying to keep a warm, inviting tone. "What is he talking about? I promise there's nothing to be upset about. Did something happen?"

He wasn't sure how to deal with Yuuri putting up walls like this. He had never had any children. Wolfram had always put up walls, choosing to alienate him from the happenings of his daily life until recently. He had never felt the need to take down those walls. They had been there for so long he had learned to accept it, noticing Wolfram's dismal, quiet moods and not finding it overly difficult to move on with his day.

It was different with Yuuri. He felt those barriers between them, tall and darkly looming over them both like mountains. He couldn't ignore it. There was a need to connect with the person on the other side. Both hands placed with fingers spread against the wall on either side could never be enough.

Yuuri took a deep breath and put a hand curled into a fist against his chest. Conrart knew his heart was pounding without having to feel for a pulse. He had missed some vital opportunities over the past month, potential conversations and solutions that he had passed by because he didn't know how to use them. By putting those off he had made Yuuri feel worse. His nails dug into his palms, leaving red indentations.

"Since coming back to Shin Makoku I haven't been able to adjust very well." Yuuri began, pausing to consider if this was the right thing to say.

He looked up in Adalbert's direction. He was trying not to look towards Conrart. "I can't understand how to live my life like this. I can't see five feet in front of me. I can't do anything for anyone or even myself. It gets so dark at night and I still can't sleep. There's almost no difference at night between my eyes being open or closed. I can't look at anyone's faces to see how they really feel. I look in front me and there is nothing."

He forced Adalbert's hand off his shoulder with surprising forcefulness. He didn't move to put it back on, but reached for his glass and took another sip.

"Everyone had to change the way they live their lives for me. And Sara? Sara took advantage of all that. You wanna know why I never answered your question about what happened down in the underground city Conrad?" He did turn towards Conrart now, and the tears were flowing freely. "Because I can't deal with what happened down there myself."

Conrart got up and pushed Adalbert aside before sitting down in the seat next to Yuuri. He'd had enough. It was time to stop shyly letting his uncertainties of his abilities get in the way. He hated seeing Yuuri this distraught.

"We need to discuss this," He stated firmly. "We can go somewhere more private if you prefer."

"Let's go to my room." Yuuri sighed, defeated. He may have a track record of being stubborn, but Conrart had a longer one and he knew it.

No one followed them as Yuuri was guided quickly down the halls and around turns. Winter's chill penetrated the castle walls and left spaces without a fire uncomfortably cold. Around here, you learned quickly to always walk around with a cloak or jacket if you were leaving the comforting warmth of a fire. Conrart noticed that Yuuri had forgotten one and that he was shivering in his thin pajamas.

Conrart's fixation on how on earth he was supposed to sort this out prevented him from considering how fast he was going until Yuuri's hand was ripped from his and as he tripped and landed hard on the floor.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Yuuri. I should have gone slower for you. Are you hurt?" He lifted him to his feet.

"No, I'm just fine. You don't need to go slower. I can keep up."

Conrart bit back the retort that no, he didn't appear to be able to. He knew that saying that would just upset him and offering his help was a bad idea at the moment. Yuuri could he very headstrong when he made decisions. If he didn't want assistance he wouldn't take it. Conrart did adapt to an ever so slightly slower pace though. He hoped Yuuri wouldn't notice.

Yuuri's bedroom was cold, with the blackened remains of a day old fire in the fireplace. Conrart had decided last month to move Yuuri's room a bit closer to his in case of any trouble. He knew Yuuri was very capable, but he still worried about him getting lost or some assassin taking advantage of his lack of sight. Yuuri hadn't objected. The room was still decently sized and Wolfram still stayed there as well. He didn't think there was anyone who could convince his younger brother to do otherwise.

Conrart ushered Yuuri over to sit on the bed while he grabbed a few logs from the stack and lit a match.

"Here." He tossed a blanket over to Yuuri to use until the fire began to warm the room. One thing he missed about Earth was heaters. The comforting warmth radiating from space heaters and vents could be arranged with the touch of a button or the turn of a dial. Regretfully, such pleasures didn't exist here.

"Thank you. So...I guess we have to talk now?" Yuuri laughed nervously. He was normally very chatty, but he had been quiet ever since they had left the kitchen. Conrart wanted to shake the hesitation out of him. He must know that he could speak to him about anything that bothered him. His silence as of late was frustrating. He knew it wasn't personal, but he always tried to come off as a gentle, understanding companion. He tried not to focus too much on some moments in the recent past when he had failed at that. To be shut out in response was an unwelcome change.

Conrart smiled. "Don't worry, I don't bite. Much."

"That would be funny, but I know you're called the Lion of Luttenburg for a reason."

"I got that nickname years ago. Yozak has been bringing it back recently as a bit of a joke. Lions protect their young. They'll fight to the death to protect them. I have and will continue to. Even if Yozak does continue to torture me with the nickname."

Yuuri started at him with eyes as wide as dinner plates before blushing. He touched the blue necklace under his shirt fondly, fiddling with the chain. It was a gift he'd said he held dear before, and even with recent events considered it seems he still did.

He sat on the bed and took a deep breath. "Yuuri, forgive me for prodding into your personal thoughts, but this can't go on any longer. You haven't talked to me, or Wolfram or any of us about what happened back in Seisoku. Everything you've been feeling over the past month just exploded out of you back there. Let me see what's going on in that head of yours. I want to see you smile again."

Yuuri was silent. He started to tug on a loose string on his shirt.

"It was hard finding out one day that I suddenly couldn't see. I tried to keep you from finding out but you did, inevitably. Everyone did and suddenly I wasn't your baseball buddy or your King. I was practically helpless, and you had to take care of me because that was what you promised yourself. I don't want that for myself, or for you."

"Never say that again." Conrad's tone was chilling and Yuuri flinched. "You are not helpless and I have never regretted my decision to stay by your side. I'd still be here even if you lost the ability to walk. It'd make things more difficult, but we'd find a way. To be blunt, your Majesty, you are now and forever stuck with me. Judging by Wolfram's temper tantrums he realized that long ago."

Yuuri laughed, an easy thing after the tension of the room had begun to thin. "I guess you're right. But it's really rough not being able to see. I'm waiting for the day when I grab rat poison instead of sugar. And home? My other home, I mean…"

His eyes were wet and glistened in the fires light. "I miss Tokyo a lot sometimes, even with everything I have here. But then I think, why miss it? What's there for me to see anymore?"

"Oh Yuuri… It's hard for me to comprehend something like that having never lost my sight but I did know Susana Julia very well, and I can tell you even with no eyesight that she was very happy. It's a shame that the rest of us couldn't see the beauty in the world that she did."

Yuuri started to say something then quieted. "Conrad, do you think that I'm going to end up like Miss Julia?" he asked hesitantly.

Conrart froze. "What do you mean?"

"She died didn't she? During the war? She used up all her magic. Sometimes I think I remember some strange things. I'm blind like her. So who's to say that one day my magic won't be enough?"

"Yuuri, you have no reason to use your magic nowadays. No one has tried to take you or attack you for a long time. I'm not saying it's impossible but I promise you I'd do everything in my power to protect you. Even if I were to fall, I'd want to still keep some majitsu for yourself. Don't drain yourself dry for all of us. You've done quite enough for a lifetime."

He didn't ask about the strange things he remembered. One thing at a time. He made a note to ask about it at a more convenient time.

"Thank you Conrad." Yuuri leaned against him affectionately for a moment, partially for the body heat in the cold room, before pulling away.

"Of course. Now, I want you to talk to me about everything that's been on your mind lately. And perhaps to a professional as well. That doesn't have to be Adalbert, despite his hinting.

Adalbert can serve as a more physical advisor. Or hired bodyguard, though I think at this point money is a trivial thing to him. Everyone wants you to feel better, Yuuri. "

"I'm grateful for all of you guys. But the professional thing seems a bit much, don't you think? I'm just a little depressed." He flinched at using the word depressed.

"I don't think so, Yuuri. We can find someone you'll really like. I really do recommend you speak to someone." Even if that's not me, he thought.

Adalbert has some medical experience as does Gisella when she returns. I also want you to start eating more. It'll help your mood and l can put you on a diet you'll really like. Lots of sushi and cupcakes."

"I don't need anymore boat wrapped sushi Conrad."

"Your homeland has some odd customs. I didn't know what to think when you told me that, so I went with what seemed like the obvious solution."

"Why would I mean that literally? That was such a waste of fish! We could have fed so many people with that. Although I applaud you on your fishing skills."

The old wooden door to Yuuri's room always stuck, and Gunter had to kick it open. He smiled and tossed his long hair out of his eyes. He appeared to be sweating through his thick shawl.

"Yuuri, so this is where you went. I heard there was some sort of commotion in the kitchen. Is everything alright?"

The fire crackled in the fireplace and Sparks flickered in the air. Conrart ushered him in.

"Gunter, you have good timing." He turned towards Yuuri. "Would Gunter be a good person to talk to?" He saw Yuuri's hesitant frown.

"Conrad it's not that I don't want to talk to you. I love talking to you. I just don't want to hurt you or waste your time."

"Conrart has taken worse abuse than whatever you're planning on saying," Gunter assured him. "I came here to check up on both of you in fact. Sangria informed me what occurred and I'd like to help, if my help will be accepted. I used to be a teacher you know. Many of my students would come to me after class to talk."

Yuuri got up and moved closer to the fire. "Talk about what?"

"Oh, all sorts of things. Family, friend's, relationships and some more serious topics I won't delve into right now. I can be a very good confidant, if you would accept me."

Yuuri looked in the directions of each of them, weighing his options.

"I want both of you here. I don't want to hurt Conrad's feelings and Gunter, well, you are a really great person to talk to. I'm glad you were my teacher."

"I still am." Gunter grinned. "Don't assume that this break you've had in lessons lately will continue."

"But I can't see! How will you teach me?"

"You read very well by touch. And I have no issue teaching you verbally. Just think of the stimulating conversations we'll have!" A trickle of blood oozed down from his nose.

Conrart smacked him lightly in the head. "Get ahold of yourself teacher. You don't want to soak your student."

"I am very much in control of myself. My bleeding condition is unfortunate however." He wiped his nose with his sleeve and continued. "Shin Makoku actually has a large array of resources for those without eyesight. You can thank Miss Julia for that. Besides, I never give up on a student. If I could handle Conrart, I can handle anyone."

Yuuri seemed a little more at ease. "Alright. I already told Conrad most of everything. I'm having a hard time adjusting to not being able to see. It scares me sometimes. Even if I ever could go back to Japan, what would be the point? A baseball player can't be blind."

Conrart flinched. He'd let that detail of Yuuri's life slip to the back of his mind. There was no way for him to continue to play. What was he supposed to say to something like that that wouldn't make Yuuri feel worse? Luckily Gunter was far more skilled in emotional matters.

He patted him on the back. "We'll figure that out later. I promise it will all be just fine. You just need to adjust. How about tomorrow I dig out some books on alternative schooling methods. I know you like to learn some things. You can pick any subject you want. Sports are certainly an option."

"That sounds great!"

Conrart hated to be the one to bring everyone's moods down, but he did feel they were getting off track a bit.

"Yuuri, there's just one more thing. Back in the kitchen you mentioned something about the King of Small Shimaron and what happened back in Seisoku. You said you couldn't deal with what happened. What did you mean by that?"

Yuuri went deathly pale and his breathing faltered. "I just had a bad time. It was pretty scary down there. You can't always tell what's real and what's not down there. Hazel said that it was a bad place that liked to play with your head. And the whole Yozak thing... I'm happy he woke up after that but I can never forget when I thought he was dead. I was alone for a while. Well, except for Sara…"

Conrart didn't have to know Yuuri as well as did in two lifetimes to look into his fear filled dark eyes and know something was deeply wrong.

"What else happened?" He said a little more sternly than he'd intended.

"It was just really dark down there. I thought I heard things moving but I'm still not sure they were there. I was down there for a really long time."

"What about King Saralegui?"

"I told you, he was there too. We were trying to find a way out."

Conrart remembered when he'd found the two and finally rescued Yuuri from the underground city after nearly a week. He'd was starving and severely dehydrated, not to mention blind. Saralegui however had been in relatively good health. He'd suspected for a while that he had been keeping water and possibly food from Yuuri while he was unsuspecting. He'd bitten back the urge to beat him senseless. He accepted that his job now was to be grateful he had Yuuri back at all and try to restore his health.

He wondered too whether or not there was more that happened than he was aware of. It had been nearly a week since he had seen Yuuri and Saralegui had been an undesirable companion from the start.

"Yuuri," he nearly whispered. He didn't want to think about what else could have been done to Yuuri in his absence. "I'm going to need you to talk to me. What did Saralegui do to you down in those tunnels?"

Yuuri was sweating and swallowed a lump in his throat. "He wouldn't give me any of the water he found. There wasn't much but there was a trickle along the walls like a little stream."

"I know that and I'm so sorry that I let that happen but that's not what I mean. Look at me. Something more is bothering you." He lifted his chin so he would look in the right direction. "It's okay. If this has been bothering you please, let Gunter and I help you fix it."

"He…well he tried to get a little closer to me than I was comfortable with sometimes. He didn't...we didn't… it was just weird." He closed his eyes, not wanting to see their reaction.

It took Conrart a moment to process the words and what they implied. Then he remembered Saralegui's words to Yuuri in the castle in Seisoku. He'd said he planned on keeping him around. As a pet or a plaything. This disturbed him greatly. He had never like how close Saralegui had been to Yuuri. Whenever he had touched him unnecessarily he found himself gritting his teeth. That comment in the castle had been as much as he could take. It had changed all his plans. He would never let that man get his hands on Yuuri. If that meant he had to break his promise to Shinou then that's what he would do. He had debated fiercely over the decision for a while before Hazel Graves had talked some sense into him. Yuuri was his responsibility.

The guilt crushed him like a ton of bricks. He had let that monster touch Yuuri…

"Gunter, take Yuuri and go. I need to be alone for a while."

Yuuri protested."I want to stay. I knew you'd react badly. Conrad, please don't do anything that would put you or Shin Makoku at risk. Let me explain."

"There's nothing you need to explain. You were hurt when you should have been safe with me. You shouldn't have ever gone to Seisoku. You should have been safe at home. There wasn't even a box to be found. There's so many things I should have done for you." He gripped his head, trying to stifle the headache he felt coming on. Yuuri shouldn't even be here right now. Conrart liked to imagine that both of them would be tossing a baseball back and forth first thing in the morning tomorrow like they always did. But as far as he knew they'd never get to do that again.

"Conrad…" What could he have said to something like that that would make any difference?

"Gunter, take Yuuri to see my mother. Tell her that Yuuri needs help getting ready for the ball tonight. Make sure Wolfram knows to dress appropriately. The royal couple must look presentable." He said all of this in a monotone voice that just barely covered the simmering rage that bubbled underneath. When Yuuri tried to reach towards him to lay a hand on his arm he brushed it away.

Gunter pulled Yuuri towards him and ruffled his hair. He got a firm hold of his hand and started pulling him towards the door. Yuuri resisted at first, but perhaps he could feel the dangerous expression on Conrart's face, because he let Gunter pull him along.

"Will I see you at the ball? You're my escort."

"I'll see if I can make the time Yuuri." It sounded so unimportant to him when he said it, altogether it was in fact very important. The matter of the King of Small Shimaron was still foremost on his mind however. He was always excellent at battle strategies and politics. How to deal with such a personal issue without it escalating into war was not something he could fathom though. He tried not to mess with the delicate political balance between countries. But was he really expected to just let this go? Even if Yuuri was fine now and it hadn't gone too far, it still troubled him that anything at all had occurred.

He sighed. He'd have to think about it. There were more important matters at hand. He was still supposed to be Yuuri's escort for the ball. He really didn't feel up to it, but he could see how much Yuuri wanted him to go. The least he could do was try to cheer him up.

* * *

Clarification for those who haven't read the novel series

Hazel Graves (novel character only): Human transported from Earth to Seisoku by one of the boxes. Her aging process slowed and she is over one hundred. She cares for Yuuri and lectured Conrad on leaving Shin Makoku and Yuuri. She leads a rebellion for slaves in Seisoku.

Tunnels under Seisoku: Where Yuuri and Saralegui got stuck. A city beneath Seisoku abandoned years ago. Think about the underground city from Lord of the rings. Very similar.

Saralegui: Present in the third season of the anime but is portrayed very different. In the original canon, the novels, he is beyond redemption. Awful guy. Not like the anime. What I mentioned occuring between Yuuri and Sara in Seisoku is indeed canon and is actually partially why Conrad decided to start helping Yuuri again. Bad things would have happened if Sara got to keep Yuuri. Novels are pretty dark guys.

This story disregards the box found in Seisoku and the prison arc in the novels that follows this.

Please review! This took me a month to write and I've worked really hard on it. I'm hoping it makes people happy!


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